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Chip.Reviews!
by Sorlk Lewis

"The Locket"
AKA
"Reverse starburst: What was I Thinking?!?!"

Written by Justin Monjo (ALL HAIL THE MONJ!)
Directed by Ian Watson

~*~Time Tracks~*~

Chip Reviews: When Aeryn goes on a long-range recon mission into some 'stellar mist', she ages approximately 150 cycles (Erp years for you newbies). How could this happen you ask? Well, let's see what Chip has to say!

DK-Chip: See, in this episode, the stellar mist is actually a center hallo. Now, as Stark explains, a center hallo has no time. Time does not exist in this 'mist'. When Aeryn goes down to the planet to check things out, and the opening in the mist closes, she is trapped in real time, while the crew experiences 'no time'. Yes, a solar day does pass on board Moya, though, they do not age that day.

CR: And what does SL have to say about this?

Sorlk Lewis: WHOO HOO, Farscape! I want my Farscapeeeee! Wheeeeee! Less than two weeks, less than two weeks!!! Where are 'ma damn spoilers? I need my spoilers!!

DK-Chip: Pay no attention to SL…she is not herself lately. <eg>

CR: Right. So, on with the story. What is up with Aeryn's age? How did she live for 150 cycles down on that planet?

DK-Chip: 50 years on the planet equal approximately 8 arns in the solar mist. So, since Aeryn was away from Moya for more than a solar day, it's easy to figure out how she aged 150 cycle's…24 arns divided by 8 equals 3. Now, 3 times 50 (number of years 8 arns in the solar mist is to the on the planet ratio) give you 150 cycles! Clearly Monjo CAN do math.

~*~You Are Only As Young As You Feel~*~

CR: Age is a key point in this episode…so, how old are Crichton and Aeryn…really?

DK-Chip: Well, I know that it has been said that Aeryn is younger than Crichton…and mentally, she is, however, for you nitpickers out there, technically, she is older than Crichton…twice as old, in fact.

CR: TWICE as old??? You have to be kidding!

DK-Chip: Sadly, I am not. If you do the math it's fairly easy to figure out…even our dear SL here, who is now in a sad state of insanity, was able to figure it out.

<SL rocks back and forth in the corner while trying to set up a chessboard>

SL: Crazy…crazy…tell me you do…daisy…daisy…I loooooove you…

<DK-chip shakes his head sadly>

CR: Um…er, right. Whatever. So, their ages?

DK-Chip: Well, Crichton is approximately 35 years old. Keep in mind a year roughly equals a cycle in the Farscape world.

CR: So that would make Aeryn what…70 years old?

SL: CYCLES!

DK-Chip: SL is right, cycles, not years. And when you figure out how old Crichton is…by a certain line about the first landing on the moon, which occurred in 1969…then you can begin the calculations on Aeryn's age. But you must be accurate in all of your data, or else errors will occur as well.

CR: So, you aren't going to tell us how to figure it out?

DK-Chip: Now, now. I just did! I gave you the tools, and now you must utilize them.

CR: OK, fine, be that way. <mutters about the chip being as bad as the actual guy>

~*~Starburst…Not The Candy Type~*~

CR: In 'The Locket', they crew uses reverse starburst to escape the center hallo. Now, before we go any further…has Justin EVER worked on any Star Trek series or movie?

DK-Chip: Um, not to my knowledge…but Ricky, Naren, and I, being the real DK not I the chip, have…why do you ask?

CR: Um, well, that MAY explain it…but never mind. More on that later. So, why did they have to use "reverse starburst"…I mean, COME ON!

SL: Cause Monjo is a monkey…

DK-Chip: Hush, SL…because…because...well, because of the temporal flux...um, reversal of the polarity of the neutron flow…wait, that's not it...it's the froonium drive…

CR: You're just clutching at straws now, aren't you?

SL: Ummm...maybe?

DK-Chip: You cannot be told the truth. It will give away the ending of season six.

CR: Oh, come on! You gotta tell us!

DK-Chip: Sorry, but it is time for me to go…and SL, you must get back to work on your little "project"…

SL: Yeah! Yeah, the project…the project…my side! Your side! Your side! My SIDE!!!

<DK-Chip vanishes in a flash…followed by SL running out the door mumbling something about "boogie men">

CR: Um, well, that's all for now, folks. Tune in next week for "Die Me, DK-Chip"…oops, I mean "Die Me, Dichotomy". Thanks and drive home safe…

 

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